Flashback to Winter

There is a streetlight outside of my window. I look to its yellowed dunce cap of illumination to see how much rain is falling in these late, lonely, and caffinated hours. I can hear it pummeling the roof of this 90 year-old house, but the sound tends to be a bit hyperbolic.
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New flavor in the air freshener… I don’t know what it is as I discarded the packaging weeks ago and haven’t used it up until now. It is like those Spree candies or Pez. For some reason, that smell combined with a lonely, beery night and Heaven or Las Vegas on the stereo… everything is combining to invoke a deep blue sense of nostalgia for something I can’t even come close to grasping… it’s not even on the tip of my tongue, or my brain… just this scent, this mood, these songs, taking me back to a “then” that defies definition. I bask in it with a heavy heart.
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It’s raining, surprise, and I have all the lights out in my apartment this night to be invisible to glancing, passing eyes. I am flicking pennies (where did all of these damned pennies come from?) out the window, listening to them clink and shudder on the wet and empty asphalt 3 stories below.
-October 6, 2007
S.W. 12th, #8