I was at my friend Amanda’s house the other day and it was what you could call “sweltering.” For Portland, some would consider 68 degrees hot, but this was a real hot, upwards of late 90’s, which doesn’t happen all that often. I was hanging out with her and her fella at the house they just bought, drinking beer and lounging in the backyard before heading off to dinner and a movie (Mars, the fella, would get hammered, as we all did, and insist that he could run about 40 yards down the street to a building that he had in his line of sight, bounce up the wall and end up on the roof in under 90 seconds. I was prepared to drop $100 against him, but luckily Amanda stepped in and shut the whole game down with reason and logic. In the process she also proved herself to be a fucking wet blanket of extraordinary magnitude. You wait until you leave town, woman. Then it’s on).
Anyhoo, prior to the shat-upon parcour party, we were lounging in the backyard and this squirrel showed up on their neighbor’s fence. We wondered if it was sick or dying, but it became clear that it was just hot. Every five minutes or so it would prop up its back-end and push itself a few inches forward as I assume that particular part of fence lost its cooling properties—it just skootched along, front arms dangling as they are in the pic. At one point another squirrel crept up the fence and came up behind it, but Hot Squirrel just glanced lazily over its shoulder as if to say, “C’mon, it’s too hot for that kind of shit.” And it worked. Playful Squirrel left Hot Squirrel to lounge. It was nothing short of hilarious. I wish I had a better camera to give you better pics, but as they say, you can shit in one hand and wish in the other and see which one fills up first.
2 comments:
OMG, I'm a cewebrity. (A wet blanket cewbrity, but STILL..) However, drunken, retarded men take note: I'm NEVER going out of town. ESPECIALLY not on August 24th. That would be a terrible day to try to live out the 90-second-vertical-dash dream. A TERRIBLE day, I say. Take note. And, like, WOW, that squirrel is stone cold CHILLIN'. Ha! I was intstrumental in getting you to post cute animal pics on your blog. Though, you DID break us all in with the Jujo photos. What's next? I can has kitteh pikchurz?
I had a similar experience with a raccoon in my tree. I thought it was dead because it was wedged between branches in the most contorted pose I had ever seen. After laughing loudly at his supposed death pose, the rascal stretched and re-adjusted.
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