22.2.08

For Carly:

(-My friend Carly really doesn't like cats. This is for her-)

I was on foot…
She was in a Subaru…
It was a 4-way, neighborhood intersection…
quiet, never busy, I will go out on a limb and estimate that it saw roughly 10 cars an hour—peak hours, mind you.

She didn’t have a stop sign and I wasn’t in a hurry…
I waved her to go.
She waved me to go.
I waved her…
She waved me.
This went on for at least three whole cycles.
Portland drivers are funny like that.
On the rare occasion when I am behind a wheel…
I am not a Portland driver.

I stood defiant and playful, crossing my arms to signal that I wasn’t going anywhere…
At least not until her fly-eye green Subaru passed me by.

This was all playful, mind you.

The glare on her windshield obscured her appearance,
other than the fact that she had pigtails and thick-rimmed old lady glasses.
This signified cute to me, but that is an unnecessary aside.

Game up, she was in more of a hurry than I was, or less patient.
She accelerated through the intersection a little too fast,
As she was parallel with me, I saw that she was cute-ish, but not as much as the pig-tails and glasses let on.
She looked at me and smiled as she passed and then promptly ran over a cat.
I didn’t see what type it was.
I will go out on a limb and estimate that it died on impact.

I stepped off of the curb as her brakes screeched,
walked on by,
and went to get that coffee that I really, really needed.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

thats terrible!

Amanda said...

Dan, You KNOW how I feel about "teh kittehs." This blog made me want to a) cry, b) go adopt a kitten and take it home and love it and squeeze and keep it for my very own, c) track down that bitch, break her glasses and pull her pigtails, d) smack you for being such a callous cat-hating cunt. Now I must go look at cute pictures on the icanhascheezburger website to console myself. You heartless bastard.

Pinky Royale said...

Hey, I didn't hit the damned thing! I just wrote it down. What was I to do? Help a bad driver with slow reflexes to scrape the carcass up?

Anonymous said...

whats one less cat? the only thing cats ever done did was promote the term "meow", which used in certain contexts is a delicious term. Meow.