Fragments...

I'm not all that political. Yeah, I'll get bitchy and drunk and talk all kinds of shit about politics but really I spend a lot more energy looking up the release date of the new Tom Waits album or whether or not the talks on a remake of 'Adventures in Babysitting" are getting anywhere.
But today I see that Bush signed a new National Space Policy. Now, I haven't looked the thing up and am not even going to try to pass off that'd I'd understand even 15% of what exactly it was getting at. I will rely on distillations via the newspapers and I have to say that I laughed, cringed, whatever when i read that the new policy "rejects future arms-control agreements that might limit U.S. flexibility in space and asserts a right to deny access to space to anyone 'hostile to U.S. interests.' "
If that, I mean, fuck... "deny access to space"? Can we do that? Do we own space? I'm no expert in the legalities of it, but I'd have to put my money on space being an open access joint, an Interzone if you will. Can we just up and claim an infinite vastness off-limits to anyone who rubs us the wrong way?
It boggles my mind, really. It hurts my mind, more accurately.
The nerve of some people. It amazes me that shit like this can get through the process without getting laughed down and shit on by proofreaders and analysts. Who works in that place, and why is it allowed?
Deny access to space?!
Jesus fucking Christ. The more I type, the more irritated I get. I sat down with this in my head as a laughable aside, but as the words spell out in front of me, I want to kick something really hard.
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Anyhoo, on a lighter not (No young man, you cannot go into space until you build your pipeline!) I've started reviewing music again for a local rag called CRAVE. It's way metal and hokey, but I hope to stumble upon some free gems while trying, as per requirements, to not completely lay into bands as make them cry and/or want to kill me when they offend me with their meager offerings.
My first batch, I got a bad CD from The Problem, and I also requested to review a Phoenix album they posted. I was thinking that Phoenix was the band from the Lost in Translation soundtrack, but it wasn't. It was some Jesus-fueled metal/rap catastrophe.
This batch I asked for a God CD they were posting, knowing that it wasn't THE God (not up in the sky, but of Kevin Martin fame). It is a "Pagan & Viking Metal" band from Portugal. They suck, but that's besides the point.
What really irks me is that for all of the things one could name a band, why would someone use a band name that was already taken? I'm willing to allow, in the case of Phoenix, that two bands could exist off the radar and one could make it, leaving the other to look like a chump even if they had been around longer and not gotten famous due to sleeping with Sophia Copolla (SNAP!).
But in the case of God, I assume that the first God never got too much distribution in Portugal, but with these fine days of Google, I mean, c'mon, put a little work into it, people.
Hmmm, I just actually tried to Google it and all I could find, without referencing Kevin Martin or Justin Broderick, was Lamb of God... or Church business.
But still... I don't know. There are so many things one could name a band, why use a one word name? The odds of it already being taken are pretty good.
How about "Little Jonnie's Hyman Finger Puppet Theatre"?
Or, "Plabstton"?
Or... shit, I don't know. Just don't use any words that have already been around for over 75 years.
All I ask is that you use a little creativity, people. Sure, the first God band got lucky, and Phoenix, well, I'm sure there were a lot of them milling about but only one got freaky with Francis' daughter.
Here, a little help if you are in a band and thinking of calling yourself Pavement.
Really, there's no excuse for the world to be home to 2 Dr. Dre's. There's just no excuse at all.
So stick around and next week I'll review a CD from a punk band from Alabama called Dexy's Midnights Runners and a piano lounge band from Denmark called Op Ivy.