The End is NIGH!

Today the New York Times announced that Tony Danza will be stepping into the role of Max Bialystock in Mel Brooks’ work of madcap genius The Producers.
Now, I have announced this before, either through a case of mistaken identification or through heavily caffeinated hyperbole, but this time it is true... the 7th Seal is set to snap like a new born kitten’s spine under the weight of a size 15 steel-toed work boot. As soon as Tony takes the stage for the first time, all lines will be drowned out by Earth shattering Trumpet Blasts, the Thundering Hooves of Pestilence, Famine...K-Fed...? The WB?
Whoever it is, things will decline quickly and we will be bathing in the blood of our loved ones, and burning in eternal torment.
Of course, I could be exaggerating. I may merely be a panicky old lady with a penchant for Pop Culture Idolatry (Thou Shalt Not Defile the Throne of Mostel!). If this is true, and the show does go on, Apocalypse-free, then another issue comes to mind.
I am wondering if Mr. Danza is capable of playing a character whose name is not... Tony. As far as I can remember, and granted my knowledge in the area is far from extensive, for every semi-successful and flat-out bomb he has ever had his hand in, his name has been Tony. That doesn’t go very far in dispelling my notion that he is, though probably a good guy, nothing but a bone-headed Italian stereotype character.
I brought this up to my good friend and prolific texting partner Dr. Avalanche and he pointed out that Tony may have not been named Tony in the film "She’s Out of Control" with Amy Dolenz (daughter of greatest drummer in the world Mickey Dolenz).
First and foremost I was appalled at his ability to recall this ridiculous bit of Shit-Cinema trivia without having to resort to a Google search. This from a man who could, in great detail and plied with whatever alcohol or pills you could pilfer from Grandma, go on at great length about the merits of... well, I don’t know... something about e.e. cummings, Tom Brokaw, and/or Miles Davis’ "In a Silent Way" album.
What I am trying to say is that he is an incredibly intelligent fellow who never ceases to make me feel stupid or shame me every time I open my mouth (as an aside, it is truly unfortunate that his parents opted to name him after the Sisters of Mercy’s drum machine). All of these smarts and then he can pull up a fucking AMY DOLENZ/ TONY DANZA reference, right out of the ether (a.k.a. his ass), like it’s nothing. Times like that I wonder if he isn’t some sort of idiot savant. As a defense he claims that he owns "She’s Out of Control" on DVD, the Criterion Collection no less, and that he got it from a well-meaning yet insane aunt and he hadn’t gotten around to selling it yet. As they say in places where people with all of their teeth are considered ‘show-offs’: That Dog Don’t Hunt.
But that is why I love him. Let’s just hope that this praise from such an esteemed source (insert mocking laughter) doesn’t go to his head.
So, with this new question as to whether or not Tony Danza has ever been able to answer to another name other than Tony, I turned to my good friends at www.IMDB.com for some answers. Briefly, as my battery is about to die and I forgot my cord, here’s what I found.
He has appeared in roughly 27 Films, a lot of them being the cataclysmically retarded and always disappointing MADE FOR TV movies (that is not counting the phenomenal "The Day After" which scarred me for life... and I only saw the previews as a child). He has also been in a ton of TV series episodes. Only in 4 roles, apparently the only 4 I’ve ever seen, has his name been Tony. Though there was one Tommy and one New York Cab Driver. Those must count for something.
So I stand corrected.
Tony, I apologize for the assumption that you can only answer to the name Tony, regardless of the role (imagine if I was right though, and he was cast in some Shakespearian gibberish... wait, were there Tonys (Tonies?) back then?).
That said, Mr. Danza, take heed: I still insist that the world will end if you do not back out of this engagement in The Producers. Nature will not abide.
(By the way, his name was Doug, Doug Simpson, in "She’s Out of Control.")