22.2.14

OkChillOut

From the Lost Files of OkCupid Correspondances:
[This happened. The name has been changed to protect the unhappy person. She mentioned in her profile that one of the things she was doing with her time is "trying to figure out men." She clearly should have been trying how to figure out how to communicate with people.]

Me:
Don't overthink men. Then we become pretty easy to understand. That may seem rather reductive, but we're really just simple animals that act on impulse and a few tens of thousands of years of genetic programming.
[Feel free to say I'm wrong. Maybe I did deserve this immediate dressing down?]

TouchedByAnUncle:
"a few tens of thousands of years of genetic programming. "
[Nice cut and paste control.]

You sound like one of those stereotypical idiotic, whiny, basement-dwelling, pathetic excuse-filled, misogynistic, MRA, grown Boys. You know what you can do with your "all men act on impulse because of our DNA" masturbation fantasy? Yeah I'll help you stick it up there- Oh sorry, I forgot the lube. I guess my evolutionary programming must have forced me to forget it(or maybe it was my degree in evolutionary biology)- you know how women are! Oh no you don't. That's why you like to harass strangers on an online dating site :D 
[Full Disclosure: I did live in a basement once. And I don't know what an MRA is.]

Me:
Wow, you sound sweet. If you were a Care Bear you'd be Tender Heart Bear. We should cuddle sometime. 
[Nothing difuses psychosis like sarcasm. Right?]

TBAU:
How the fuck do you block people on this site?!
[It's right there on the screen. Clearly her righteous indignation blinded her to such an obvious button.]
Oh good. Now I see the "Block him" button has reappeared. Irony much, polygamist?
[Seriously though, I don't have the energy for polygamy. I can barely commit to caring for myself emotionally.]

Me:
It's a shame that you weren't properly socialized as a child. 

[And that's that. It was a short but sweet interaction. Some people you see and think, "How is the hell is s/he single?" and others you know immediately and they end up on the receiving end of a long, drawn out, "Oooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhh....yeah. I can see why s/he's single."]